Zeus
Slides into your DM fast as lightening
In more ways than one.
Feeds you some bull about love at first swipe.
Blocks you immediately after sex.
Clearly married.
Poseidon
Un-ironically wears Hawaiian shirts & shell necklaces.
Can hang ten but not onto a job.
Lives in his parents beach house.
Emotions outburst roll in like waves.
Sends you pics of his one-eye monster.
Dionysus “Big D”
Chaotic bisexual ex-theatre geek.
The original fuck boy.
Shows up on your date already drunk
“U UP?” he texts.
You are.
Ares
All his profile pics are #gymselfies
Or of his “hot ride”.
Ex-military and will let you know IMMEDIATELY
His go-to response when you don’t answer :
“Whatever, you look a bitch anyway. FUCK YOU”.
Swipe left please.
Ellen Ricks is a poet and essayist haunting the Adirondack mountains. Her writing has appeared creatively in The Offing, Capulet Mag, Tiny Flames, Argot Magazine and professionally in Teen Vogue, HelloGiggles, Bustle, among others. When not writing, Ellen enjoys drinking too much coffee and making terrible puns.
Latest posts by Ellen Ricks (see all)
- Tinder Bios of the Immortal - 25th September 2020